Before It's Too Late...

Update!

2007-08-02T04:36:00Z

Firstly: Jordan [lol] - i hope i can audition for footloose! Aaaand i work in a deli. lol but i work 40 hrs a week...

and speaking of work: I had an amazing shift. it was hilariously fun. :D im gunna be so sad when shifts like that dont happen anymore :(

ultrasound tomorrow. and i found out that after it, i hafta wait ANOTHER week to see the results of it.
woot. more waiting.
iv waited over a damn month.
i just wanna fucking know.
christ. lol

i guess that's it :D

bye guys! :D:D

Talking.

2007-07-31T20:14:41Z

I have a lot to ramble about, I think.

First things first: Thursday is my ultrasound. I'm excited at the prospect of finally figuring out whats up with me, but Im a little nervous about it too. I'm a little scared of what they're gunna find. And i hafta work the night before, so my co-workers will hafta deal with me freaking out. lol poor guys. To top it, im working with the guy I posted about before. The one who's been acting really wierd around me. that will be FANTASTIC! *sarcasm*

Speaking of my job, I'm now working full time which is sweet because I did a little calculating, and my next paycheck is gunna be almost 700 freaking dollars. It's frickin' sweet! And my hours [starting next week] are AMAZING! 10-7. Not too early, AND i get off early. Usually im stuck in there til after 9! Im so excited about this whole deal.

And now at the end of the month I get to go on Vaca cuz my brothers baseball team made some sort of playoff, so we get to go somewhere for it. It's in the mountains, and i love the mountains so im really stoked. Except I think we're flying there. I hate flying. I get motion sick and, not gunna lie, I get nervous. Flying home from Phoenix last summer, i was all drugged up on motion sickness prevention pills of some kind *lol* so i didn't really openly panic, cuz i couldn't focus well enough lol but we hit some killer turbulance and our plane dropped, it was so fucking scary!!! So yeah. I'm not really big on flying. But by then, Eclipse will be out so i can take that and my ipod on the plane and hopeuflly just blow out the terror that surrounds me. lol

And, also, i think I've decided to go for an audition. I want to audition for the new Footloose movie [if that'll be possible], and if I can't do that, I think I've decided that I want to go for Canadian Idol next season. I might as well try, I mean...I can't get anywhere if I don't put myself out there. And if I dont make it anywhere, then I'll know thats not right and I can find something else with the satisfaction of knowing i at least tried it. Cuz i think that's what would really bother me if I gave it up now: I never tried.

On the topic of movies: I'm so fucking excited about this movie August Rush. Holy shit it looks AMAZING! I read somewhere that Freddie Highmore [i think that's his name] might get an Oscar Nomination for it! That's the rumor, tho. Since the movie isn't actually released yet. but the show definitely looks Oscar Worthy. I can not wait to see it. It looks so fucking amazing.

Aaaaand I think that's everything.

Hmm...

2007-07-19T02:31:48Z

Okay, so, i work in a deli.
and there's this one co-worker of mine who i went to high school with [btw: yes, it does feel really cool to say that now that im DONE]
anyways, i went to highschool with him. We were kinda friends in 10th grade
but other than that, we never spoke
and then earlier this year, he got hired where i work
and i had to train him and we kinda hit it off really good.
like he was my work bud, we always had a really good time, talked about a lot of shit [which was wierd] and stuff
but now he's acting all wierd around me. like...i dunno.
its like he's avoiding/trying to ignore me and i have no idea why he would do that.
[just for info: we're just friends. he has a girlfriend, and im not interested. lol]
but! He's acting like a HUGE woman.
i should have known he would, cuz last summer i was REALLY tight with a guy he used to hang out with in 9th grade [he dun like him now]
and that guy used to always do the same thing. just...act all wounded and shit and make me feel like i somehow did something rong.

i really thought my work-pal was different, though, since they stopped hanging out a long time ago.
it just really bothers me cuz my friend-from-last-summer kinda hurt me bad, so the whole ordeal just makes me really uncomfortable.
and i dont want him to start talking shit to my other co-workers, because they love me and him doing that would completely ruin my job for me!

im scared that these two are gunna be much more similar than i thought.

i dunno.
sorry if that's hard to follow.
i just don't want shit to go the same way they went with my last-summer friend.
id rather just stay work buds with this guy and avoid complicated shit that ends in me not being able to look him in the eye.

[dramatic, i know. so sue me. we all fall sometimes. lol]

on the plus side: i dont hafta work with him for a while now. :P

and i got offered full time work in the department i always wanted to work in, since i started there, so im stoked about that.
mucho mula, people.

anyways.
if you read this, im very VERY sorry im a retard. lol

I miss shia. lol i should go rent some shia movies...hmmm...
or watch Guide. but that makes me cry so im gunna avoid that like the plague.

Anyways.
i think that's all for now.

Peace\\//

Becky

Update on last nights boredom

2007-07-16T20:38:29Z

My sister didn't jump a bus.
she's still here.
and moving back in with my dad
that will suck ass.
she and i dont mix at all.
this is gunna be so retarded!
my comp time is gunna be cut in half probably cuz shes a controlling, self centered, abusive bitch.

i think that's all the news for today.

i still dont have fucking vanity fair.
stupid Chapters.
but i got a book called Soon I Will Be Invincible. It's funny. lol if you like to read, pick it up. I've never seen a book like it.
it's unique.

Peace\\//
Becky.

Boredom=this shit

2007-07-16T04:52:06Z

So.
i'm bored.
so im just gunna ramble on in here for a while about my day.
i worked for 8 hrs...it was a good time til the closers came in and then my mood just like plummetted. i swear i had like a mental breakdown. i hit a WALL of sadness. it was the most retarded thing of my life.

and now i wonder if my sister hopped a bus to the states with trailer trash (aka, her fag ass retard of a boyfriend)

ill find out tomorrow, i suppose.

and then i was thinking about a certain painful experience at a beach that I dont really want to describe and how it relates/adds to my medical problem.
Im starting to get impatient. i just want the fucking ultrasound, figure out why the fuck im like...internally bleeding to death, and get it fixed or at least just say "ya know, we can fix it. wanna die here or at home?"
tho im 90 percent sure im not dying.
but there's still 10 percent for error. i just left that cuz im not a doctor. lol

curiousity is just getting the best of me.
i just wanna know man.

it's funny (to me with my sick humor) that im gunna be getting an ultrasound on the day Disturbia comes out on DVD. haha
cuz...ya know, you usually get those when you're pregnant
and i would love to be possibly pregnant with shia's babies. lol
it just makes me laugh. me n my frend always joke bout how it's a wierd sign of sorts.
...itd b a shitty sign if i am terminally ill. lol
what kind of shit ass sign is that?
SHIAAAAAAAaaa-....ah. im dying. fabulous.

this makes no sense.

before anyone gets excited: im not dying....as of now. lol

that was retarded.
PEACE!

P.S: I want fucking Vanity Fair.

...P.P.S: I swear a lot. sorry.

First post!

2007-06-24T23:36:10Z

Alright. So i know it sucks total ass right now, but ill work on it.
uhm. yeah. so if anyone has any tips as to how to pimp this thing, let me know!
thanks!

\\//Becky.